Consider the Context (2.0)

To Consider the Context involves awareness of and hospitality toward multiple perspectives. When we neglect this, conversations and relationships fragment. A way to approach this differently is self-differentiation.

In his book Clear Leadership: sustaining real collaboration and partnership at work, Gervase Bushe, PhD writes, “With self-differentiation, we find a place where belonging and individuality are not mutually exclusive, where I am separate from you and connected to you at the same time.

Self-differentiation is about having clear boundaries, being clear on what my experience is and the difference between that and your experience. Self-differentiation requires knowing the difference between the data I have and the stories I make up with it. Self-differentiation requires acknowledging that your experience will always be separate from mine and not needing you to have a certain experience for me to feel OK.

Self-differentiation is about being true to myself and true to the relationship I have with you. It is about putting equal emphasis on my needs and our needs, whether “our” means two people, a group, or an organisation. In order to do this, self-differentiation requires being aware of what my truth really is—knowing what my experience is what is really motivating my thoughts, feelings and actions.”

Pause and reflect.  Consider the Context - your context. 

Q. How might you move toward greater self-differentiation within that context and in reference to the relationships present?