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Attention

What requires your attention today, this week, this month?

What do you need to pay attention to? Today. This week. This month.

Q. As you consider your Upward, Inward & Outward relationships what are the things that matter most, that require your attention?

Q. How might you move toward what matters most in the creative space between reality and possibility in each of these relationships?

Step forward with intention, discipline and vision as you seek to Plant, Grow and Harvest considering what matters most and requires your attention. Today. This week. This month.

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Leadership Posture

Is it time for an adjustment?

What is the posture of your leadership?

What do you notice about the posture of your thinking?

When you reflect on your engagement with others, what comes to mind about the posture of your interactions?

What is the shape, or posture, of your leadership recently?

Hunched over, slouched, with leadership-shoulders curved in?

Eyes down?

Leadership-legs sluggish, heavy, and shuffling along?

Are you pressing in or retreating from challenges and commitments?

Take a moment to consider the image of what you would like to see more of in the way you are leading in your relationship with self and others.  

Q. How might you take action today to adjust your leadership posture?

Q. What would your thinking and engagement be like with your leadership-chin, eyes, and back upright?  What might it look like for your leadership legs and feet to be moving at an appropriate pace?

Take a moment to consider the current state vs desired state of your leadership posture.  Invite constructive feedback from those close to you.  What do they notice?

May you move and lead more freely today, and again tomorrow.   

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Creative Tension

“If we are to live our lives fully and well, we must learn to embrace the opposites, to live in a creative tension between our limits and our potentials.” - Parker J. Palmer

“If we are to live our lives fully and well, we must learn to embrace the opposites, to live in a creative tension between our limits and our potentials.” - Parker J. Palmer

Take time to reflect on and consider how you might you resource yourself to navigate this creative tension?

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Perspective

Getting perspective can be tricky at times.

Getting perspective can be tricky at times. 

Pace. Pressure. Noise. There are plenty of internal and external factors that can impact a healthy perspective on our reality. 

So, a question to consider.

How might you envision and explore your current reality from different angles, creating space for a more fully formed perspective?  

Take a moment. Reflect on these prompts.

They may be useful in resourcing you to nurture an expanded perspective as you navigate the space between reality and possibility.  

Context

Name (out loud, on paper) what you are noticing inside you and around you. What do you see, hear, feel? How can these inputs inform your perspective?

Community

Who might you be able to speak with, listen to, and be present with to expand your perspective?

Curiosity

Lean in. Be curious. How might a posture of curiousity guard against the fear and frustration that can undermine a more fully formed perspective?

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Dealing with Derailers

There are many things that can derail each of us. Internal and external factors seek to knock us off course. This will not be news to you.

There are many things that can derail each of us. Internal and external factors seek to knock us off course. This will not be news to you.

Derailers need to be dealt with—they deplete us and exhaust resources. In working with leaders, we see the difference intentional, visionary and disciplined leadership makes in confronting derailers.

Intentional
Being intentional involves naming reality and being clear on your values. This requires courage and honesty to name reality both to oneself and other stakeholders. When you name reality and are rooted in your values, you can move forward with greater focus and stop being pulled from side to side.

Visionary
This involves having a clear, overarching aim. What is your purpose? What are the goals that flow out of this purpose? If you are unclear on where you are headed, the derailers you face may not be identified or the weight of their threat may be underestimated.

Disciplined
Long-term commitment to live out your mission takes (day in, day out) discipline. What is your identity—as a leader in your organisation, as a family member, as a volunteer? Clarity on mission develops your ability to identify derailing behaviours that distract you from your commitment to live and lead each day in light of your mission.

In order to move toward more intentional, visionary and disciplined leadership, identify where you need to pause and reflect, and where you need to take action. You will keep yourself on track and the detailers at bay.

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Leadership: honing your craft

Leadership takes place in a context. It involves relationships. Given that contexts are evolving and relationships are dynamic - one’s leadership needs to be treated as a craft, honed over time.

Leadership takes place in a context. It involves relationships. Given that contexts are evolving and relationships are dynamic - one’s leadership needs to be treated as a craft, honed over time.

Viewing leadership as a craft reminds us that we are on a continuous leadership journey: discovering more about ourself, about others. Discovering more about what works well and what seems to fall flat, or backfire.

We are on a learning journey. If we approach this journey with curiosity we are more open to what might emerge. The same-ol-same-ol approach may not best serve the context and the people & relationships involved.

Coaching can help resource you to hone your leadership craft. Taking time to raise questions, explore options, and reflect on next steps can spark curiosity and lead to new possibilities where you and others flourish.

How might you hone your craft today?

Where can you invite new perspectives to inform how your are considering the context?

What tools or resources do you have before you and how might your deploy them in new, creative ways?

In The Craftsman, Richard Sennett writes:

“Acts of repair are a proving ground for all tools. More, the experience of making dynamic repairs establishes a fine but definite line between the fixed and all-purpose tool. The tool that simply restores is likely to be put mentally in the toolbox of fit-for-purpose only, whereas the all-purpose tool allows us to explore deeper the act of making a repair. The difference matters because it signals two sorts of emotional responses we make to an object that doesn't work. We can want simply to relieve its frustration and will employ fit-for-purpose tools to do so. Or we can tolerate the frustration because we are now also curious; the possibility of making a dynamic repair will stimulate, and the multipurpose tools will serve as curiosity’s instrument.

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Curiosity (2.0)

Take a moment today to pause and reflect.  You may want pen and paper.  A quiet place.  Space to think, hear, feel.

Take a moment today to pause and reflect.  You may want pen and paper.  A quiet place.  Space to think, hear, feel.

“Curiosity serves as a gateway to what we value and cherish most. We can reclaim the lost pleasures of uncertainty, discovery, and play from our youth.” ―Todd Kashdan, PhD

Q. How might you cultivate your curiosity today?

Q. Where can you navigate the space between with greater curiosity - increased awareness of what you value and cherish most?

Q. How might you allow this to resource you to lead amidst uncertainty?

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Curiosity (1.0)

Curiosity sometimes feels light, whimsical, energising. Other times it seems draining. Curiosity fatigue sets in.  A solid dose of certainty would be nice.

Curiosity sometimes feels light, whimsical, energising. Other times it seems draining. Curiosity fatigue sets in.  A solid dose of certainty would be nice.

Yet a posture of curiosity can enable us to remain open to the emergence of new opportunities, possibilities, and often helps keep fear and angst in check.

Curiosity can shine a light on things that matter to us and nudge us to explore options as we move forward.

Take a moment—today—to pause and reflect.

Q. Where do you notice your curiosity being sparked today?

Q. How might you respond to your curiosity? (today, this week, this season of life...?)

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Consider the Context (2.0)

To Consider the Context involves awareness of and hospitality toward multiple perspectives. When we neglect this, conversations and relationships fragment. A way to approach this differently is self-differentiation.

To Consider the Context involves awareness of and hospitality toward multiple perspectives. When we neglect this, conversations and relationships fragment. A way to approach this differently is self-differentiation.

In his book Clear Leadership: sustaining real collaboration and partnership at work, Gervase Bushe, PhD writes, “With self-differentiation, we find a place where belonging and individuality are not mutually exclusive, where I am separate from you and connected to you at the same time.

Self-differentiation is about having clear boundaries, being clear on what my experience is and the difference between that and your experience. Self-differentiation requires knowing the difference between the data I have and the stories I make up with it. Self-differentiation requires acknowledging that your experience will always be separate from mine and not needing you to have a certain experience for me to feel OK.

Self-differentiation is about being true to myself and true to the relationship I have with you. It is about putting equal emphasis on my needs and our needs, whether “our” means two people, a group, or an organisation. In order to do this, self-differentiation requires being aware of what my truth really is—knowing what my experience is what is really motivating my thoughts, feelings and actions.”

Pause and reflect.  Consider the Context - your context. 

Q. How might you move toward greater self-differentiation within that context and in reference to the relationships present?

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Consider the Context (1.0)

In any context there are systems. Systems comprised of variables that sometimes align and play nice, sometime rub each other the wrong way, sometimes try to hide or are ignored, and sometimes are not known or acknowledged.

In any context there are systems. Systems comprised of variables that sometimes align and play nice, sometime rub each other the wrong way, sometimes try to hide or are ignored, and sometimes are not known or acknowledged. More could be said, you get the gist.

These variables are (but not limited to, of course): people, relationships, values (shared and assumed), structures, norms, stories, vision, procedures, expectations,….

If we focus only on an apparent problem with a given variable, and not the interconnections and relationships between variables, we miss the picture.

Pause and reflect today.  Consider the Context - the reality in which you are leading.

Q. How might you resource yourself with different perspectives, gaining greater awareness of the relationships among variables in that context? 

Q. How might this increased awareness cultivate stronger relationships (with self and others) and better conversations - where you and others can be more fully known and systems can thrive?

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Intention, Discipline, Possibility.

The ‘Space Between’ is an image that can help orient us to the context in which we lead: it is a journey—day by day, moment by moment—of navigating this space from where we are to where we’d like to be.

The ‘Space Between’ is an image that can help orient us to the context in which we lead: it is a journey—day by day, moment by moment—of navigating this space from where we are to where we’d like to be. This does not suggest you and I are not where we want to be today. But it frames the tension of where we are and what we hope the future might hold.

This navigating is marked by multiple relationships (with self and others), conversations, decisions, opportunities, challenges, hopes, setbacks. You know well what sorts of things are characterising the Space Between for you.

So, how might we navigate well this Space Between? This space we find ourselves in today and where we hope to get to and, at least, be moving toward?

Possibility: how do you imagine where you’d like to be? What do you see? What are you hearing? What is around you? What is no longer present? What might be a few steps—that can be taken today, this week, this month—toward that vision of possibility?

Intention: What might be a few steps you take today, this week, this month toward that vision of possibility? What are the values that are driving those steps?

Discipline: As you move forward—step by step—how might you resource yourself to stay curious, courageous and committed? Who can support you? What might you need to hold on to or let go of as you move forward?

Navigating the Space Between sometimes feels like you’re in flow and things are just working and ticking along. Sometimes its disorienting, fragmented, clunky, frustrating, zapping. Often its a blend of all this.

See how stepping forward with a vision of what might be possible and how you might step forward with intention and discipline can resource you to navigate the Space Between today. Then try again tomorrow.

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What is the Script?

Understanding scripts—the narratives or stories we form, carry with us, and draw from—is core to better thinking and stronger conversations.

Understanding scripts—the narratives or stories we form, carry with us, and draw from—is core to better thinking and stronger conversations. 

Coming closer to naming the scripts, reflecting on them, questioning them, and considering new scripts is a big part of coaching. 

On narrative coaching with clients, Chené Swart, PhD writes: 

“Clients are connected to and shaped by the multiplicity of narratives of their own lives: the relationships they value, the communities and histories they come from, and the cities, nations, and economic systems that have formed them, as well as the narratives of the global world that they form part of through access to technology.

In the coaching conversation the multiplicity of narratives of the client are invited, welcomed, and explored, with all their ambiguity and competing natures, to come and be told, retold and re-storied.”

Q. What are the scripts you are running about yourself and others?  

Sometimes it can be tricky to get perspective on this on your own. It all becomes a bit muddled and too interconnected to get clarity.

Coaching can cultivate your awareness of and ability to understand current scripts and resource you to re-write new stories where possible and needed?

Q. What informs the scripts you are running? 

Q. How might you create space for other perspectives, new scripts? 

New narratives can free you up.  Allow you to lead yourself and others toward  greater flourishing and common good.

Be Curious.  Question the Scripts.  See what Emerges.  

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The Space Between

You live in a space between. You lead in a space between. A creative space where you have options on how you will move from reality (where you are at today) to possibility (where you might like to be).

You live in a space between. You lead in a space between. A creative space where you have options on how you will move from reality (where you are at today) to possibility (where you might like to be).

This a creative space. Sometimes it feels that way: plenty of options, potential routes forward, with curiosity and courage in full force. Sometimes, however, it feels distorienting, clunky, heavy, lonely or just too much to face.

In those time where the space between feels daunting, how might you resource yourself to consider a few next steps to move forward? To move toward what might be possible.

Take a moment to imagine what it would look like, feel like, sound like to be in that be in that place where what might be possible is your new reality.

Q. What do you see? What do you hear? What is no longer in the way?

Lean in with curousity today, creating a space where your can nudge toward that vision of what might be possible. Consider some options. Try some on for size. Take the first step.

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Green Shoots

In his book The Second Mountain, David Brooks references a story he read about a guy who bought a house with bamboo growing near his driveway. He wanted to get rid of it.

In his book The Second Mountain, David Brooks references a story he read about a guy who bought a house with bamboo growing near his driveway. He wanted to get rid of it. So, he cut down the bamboo, chopped the roots; and, just to offer one final blow: he poured plant poison over any roots that lingered. The hole that remained was filled with several feet of gravel and sealed off with cement.

Job done. So it seemed.

Two years later green shoots emerged from the site, breaking through the concrete barrier and defying all attempts to squelch life. In an against-all-odds tale of resilience, the bamboo showed it would not be deterred from pursuing it’s destiny.

In a recent coaching conversation, I felt green shoots emerging. New life was rising up. Hope and vision that seemed a distant memory—cut off and covered up—presented themselves again. Discouragement, fractured relationships, sought to cut off the roots of motivation and cover over a previously clear vision of what could be achieved. New ways forward were now being identified, fresh commitments made.

This conversation reminded me of human potential. The ability for individuals to overcome adversity. To show grit. To be resilient. Choosing to press on despite being cut off, pushed down, covered up.

Take a moment to pause and reflect on these questions:

Q. Where do you see green shoots emerging?

Q. How might you be able to nourish and tend to them?

Be curious, see what emerges.

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Who are you?

“Now I become myself. It's taken Time, many years and places;

I have been dissolved and shaken, Worn other people's faces…”

Now I become myself. It's taken Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken, Worn other people's faces…

These opening lines from May Sarton’s poem Now I Become Myself capture a primary task for leaders: naming reality. Who are you? Where are you? Leaders certainly need to do this in the context in which they operate. First and foremost, however, they must demonstrate a willingness to name reality in their own life. Often this starts by answering the simple yet profound question “who am I?”

So, who are you?

Failing to answer this question leaves leaders vulnerable. Vulnerable to the temptation of adopting someone else’s identity—“wearing other people’s faces”—and seeking to mimic their approach, response, view, or behaviour. In doing this, leaders undermine their ability, and responsibility, to lead with authenticity .

So, who are you?

In his book Let Your Life Speak, Sociologist Parker Palmer asserts that “our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human seeks—we will also find our path of authentic service in the world.”

When we are insecure about our identities, Palmer concludes, we create settings that deprive other people of their identities as a way of buttressing our own.

So, who are you?

Leadership forces a person to be honest with themself about who they are. If they fail to address this head on they will live in tension between their identity and performance. They perform in order to be accepted. They perform in order to please others and to keep their own fragile identity intact. This is not sustainable. This is exhausting.

When leaders are clear about who they are, their identity and performance align. They flourish as they lead with greater authenticity and integrity.

So, who are you?

Give yourself a gift today. Pause. Look in the mirror. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” Wait. What do you hear?

The task of leadership can be isolating and lonely. Of course, we are often surrounded by people—sharing ideas, solving problems, making decisions. But even with all the human contact, our role can disconnect us from others.

But effective leadership happens in and through relationships. We cannot function autonomously. In the same way, the task of knowing oneself cannot simply be a solo exercise. We know ourselves more fully as we are better known by others.

So, once again, pause. Find a trusted friend or colleague. Ask them, “who am I?” Wait. What do you hear?

Allow the responses to be gifts. They can help you more fully know and become yourself. They can help you name reality.

Don’t let it take many years and places. Stop wearing other people’s faces. Start today.

Who are you?

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Curiosity, Empathy & Emergence

Of all the things that seem in short supply these days, challenges aren’t on the list. At personal, organisational, community, societal and global levels - challenges are constant and, it seems, increasingly complex and interconnected.

Of all the things that seem in short supply these days, challenges aren’t on the list.  At personal, organisational, community, societal and global levels - challenges are constant and, it seems, increasingly complex and interconnected.  

How might we approach these challenges in a way doesn’t confuse the symptoms for the problems?  Is there a way forward - a framework perhaps - that can we can lead to greater common good?  What lies at the heart of these challenges?  Are they to be seen and best understood through discrete lenses: political, social, economic, religious, organisational, medical, inter-personal, systemic, or a combination thereof?  

It seems that lurking deep (or not so deep) within any challenges is a relational dynamic.  Or, more pointedly, a relational vulnerability or frailty.  It may be our relationship with ourselves, or our relationship another (whether that another is a friend, family members, colleague, client, customer, country or cause).  

If the lens of relationship can help us to engage in challenges—rather than flee from them, fight them, or freeze in the face of them—what components might make up that lens of understanding?  What foundational principles – accessible to all – might move the dial toward more restored relationships, shared solutions and pursuit of common good?

Let me suggest three: Curiosity, Empathy and Emergence.  

Curiosity (“And What Else”)

A posture of curiosity can enable us to remain open to the emergence of new opportunities and possibilities;  it can help keep fear and angst in check. Curiosity can shine a light on things that matter to us, nudging us to explore options as we move forward amidst challenge and uncertainty.

In my experience of supporting students student success and wellbeing, approaching challenges and uncertainty with greater curiosity has enabled increased levels of resilience and hope.  It has created a pathway to a better understanding of values and what really lies at the heart of the matter for students.  This curiosity can often be invited and welcomed by the simple phrase, “and what else”.  This invitation is a gift to another to start to explore and articulate the context in which they are seeking to navigate a way forward.

How might you bring greater curiosity to the conversations you will have before you today?

Todd Kashdan, PhD, whose research and writing  around curiosity, both in academic and popular circles, writes “Curiosity serves as a gateway to what we value and cherish most. We can reclaim the lost pleasures of uncertainty, discovery, and play from our youth. Being curious opens the door to more than simply striving for happiness. It is a powerful trait that is often overlooked on the road to finding purpose and meaning in life. If we are interested in producing a population of critical thinkers armed with courage, resilience, and a love of learning and discovery, then we must recognise, harness, and cultivate curiosity.”

Empathy (“Listen to Understand”)

This type of active listening is other-focussed.  Rather than listening to respond, we creating space and are present with others so that they can be more fully understood.

If, at the heart of our challenges lies a relational dynamic, then our route to a solution is often in dialogue.  For this dialogic approach to work, and for solutions to emerge, we need to approach them with humility and a willingness to listen to what is being said, and perhaps not said.  In my coaching work this is key to not only fostering rapport and trust, but to actually be present with someone and help hold a space where, in the words of Parker Palmer, we can know as we are known.

This empathic listening takes patience.  It takes courage.  It requires being present with an open mindset (and earset). If we listen to understand, rather than to be understood, we too will be invited to share and be understood.  In this way, multiple perspectives can emerge and a more fully formed picture of reality can make itself known.  In this way, addressing real challenges can be tackled together.

How might you resource yourself to bring greater empathy and a seeking-to-understand approach to the challenges you are facing today?

Emergence (“Solutions Emerge Over Time”)

In addressing challenges, being able to read and understand the context we are seeking to navigate and problem solve in is vital.

You may find yourself in a place where well developed processes and procedures work and serve you and others well.

Or you may find yourself in a context where expertise is required and specialist knowledge adds value and a way forward.

For many of us, however, a great deal of the challenges we face in our organisations are enmeshed in complex adaptive systems.  You need to draw on multiple perspectives, and interdisciplinary approaches will facilitate a way forward to what options may emerge and be considered.   The way forward is perhaps a range of possibilities. Testing, experimentation and iteration will be required. There’s no singular or known ‘best way’. Solutions here emerge over time.

There are times, of course, to act decisively.  There are times to call on expertise and a body of knowledge.  But that isn’t always the case.  

As you reflect on the challenges and opportunities before you, where might you create space that invites and is hospitable to multiple perspectives, so solutions can emerge?

If you are curious to learn more about how coaching might resource you to might navigate the challenges and opportunities before you, let’s begin a conversation today. 

Rather than seeking greater autonomy and isolation, these three components to a relational approach to challenges—Curiosity, Empathy, Emergence—may in fact allow us to thrive and flourish as humans.  Humans who work collaboratively, attentive to the realties of others and move forward together.  Moving forward in our teams, organisations, communities and beyond — rather than retreating, isolating ourselves, and further undermining that relationships that we and others need most.

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